Glamorous, Naturally
by Karkat Captor
Summary: My mom has scheduled a trip for Las Vegas! I'm inviting all the girls in my class, and maybe a few more. Sure it's expensive, but hey, I'm staying me! Entry for katieadorable4436's SP songfic contest. Songfic to Glamorous by Fergie feat. Ludacris.


**Glamorous, Naturally**

**Author's Note: **Written for a South Park songfic contest as hosted by katieadorable4436. Original prompt stated below.

**Song:** Glamorous (I'm assuming this is the one by Fergie ft. Ludacris – if I'm wrong, sorry!)

**Summary:** My mom has scheduled a trip for Las Vegas! I'm inviting all the girls in my class, and maybe a few more. Sure it's expensive, but hey, I'm staying me!

**Pairing:** No pairing, just lots of girls. (No, they're not lesbian!) – **Note that my reaction was along the lines of 'dammit'. ;w; There may be a sliiiiight mention of a few pairings but god no is the fanfic centered on it. ^^;; Also, I don't know if ya'll like it, but this fanfic is entirely dialog and sound-effect based. So yeah. Hope you're kaykay with that. **

**Author:** Tewi Inaba

**Enjoy!**

_Are you ready?_

"Oh, hey, you're all here! We're almost done packing."

_If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home_

"This goes right in the back, back there."

_You say: if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home_

"Bebe, are you sure you can take everyone?"

_G-L-A-M_

"Of course. I mean, I'm pretty damn sure that I've got enough tickets for everyone. Our class is a weinerfest anyway, so it's not like I had to buy a lot. Enough to invite some older girls, too."

_O-R_

"If you say so."

_O-U-S_

"Heh. Anyway, is everyone ready to go?"

_Yeah_

"Why not. Glad we're going alone, though."

_We flyin' first class_

"So leaving for the airport pleases and sparkles everyone?"

_Up in the sky_

"Pleases and sparkles!"

_Poppin' champagne_

"Alright, let's go, mom!"

-Click-

_Livin' the life_

"So, anyone have any plans for what we're gonna do when we get there? Circus Circus was fun when I was younger, but it's not as good now…"

_In the fast lane_

"Well, we're all 18 now, right?"

_And I won't change_

"…Not me…"

_By the glamorous, oh the flossy, flossy_

"Oh, right, Red….uhm…"

_The glamorous_

"We'll figure that out when we get to Vegas, I guess."

_The glamorous, glamorous (oh, the glamorous life)_

"Yeah. You do that. Wendy, why didn't you bring your trailer-trash boyfriend? I know he knows how to make fake licences."

_By the glamorous, oh the flossy, flossy_

"Don't talk about him like he's a hardened criminal! He's nice…"

-Click—Slam—Click—

_Wear them gold and diamond rings_

"Dammit, dammit…"

_All them things don't mean a thing_

"What's wrong, Red?"

_Chaperones and limousines_

"…I can't sleep on this plane, it's so uncomfortable…"

_Shopping for expensive things_

"It's okay, you'll get used to it, I'm sure. This is your first time flying, I was like that too during my first time…"

_I be on the movie screens_

"Wendy?"

_Magazines and bougie scenes_

"Yeah?"

_I'm not clean, I'm not pristine_

"Stop making flying sound like a sex metaphor."

_I'm no queen, I'm no machine _

"…Sorry."

-Click—Slam—Click—Click—

_I still go to Taco Bell_

"So, you'll be rooming together, Red and Shelley. Wendy and I will room together. That pleases and sparkles?"

_Drive-thru, raw as hell_

"Pleases and sparkles!"

_I don't care, I'm still real_

-Click, Slam, Flip, Flop –

"Why do you all say that?"

_No matter how many records I sell_

"Oh, an older tradition thing. Since we were younger."

_After the show or after the Grammies_

"It's odd. Like the way when I was younger I used to call everyone turd."

_I like to go cool out with the family_

"Tee-hee. Yeah, we were really strange when we were all little, especially Craig…"

_Sippin', reminicin' on days when I had a Mustang_

"Yeah, you're tellin' me. At least that gave me the benefit of meeting my little brother's best fr—I mean, my boyfriend. Guh. Have to get used to that."

_And now I'm in…_

"Teehee. I didn't know you really well then, or since this trip, but I'm beginning to like you a lot."

_First class, up in the sky_

-Click, Fwump, Poomph—

"Alright, Wendy, confess. You can't possibly like him truly?"

_Poppin' champagne_

"Well, I do. I could say the same about you and your new boyfriend."

_Livin' the life_

"Hey, Token is nice…."

_In the fast lane_

"So you're not just dating him for his money and possible endorsement for your dad's political campaign, because you know they'd vote someone black otherwise?"

_And I won't change_

"…Let's go to sleep."

_By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy_

"How did I know…"

_The glamorous_

"Shut up."

_The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)_

-Click, click, click –

"Let's go to that one."

_By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy_

"I'll just go to Circus Circus…"

_I'm talkin' champagne wishes, caviar dreams_

-Ding—

"Kickass, I won!"

_You deserve nothing but all the finer things_

"Bebe, how much did you win?"

_Now this whole world has no clue what to do with us_

"….Not a lot."

_I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us_

"…Yeaaah. Wait, are those…?"

_Plus I've gotta keep enough lettuce_

"…Couldn't be."

_To support your shoe fetish_

"…It is….Who else would be keeping all their earnings in their knit caps…"

_Lifestyles so rich and famous_

"Goddammit, how did they find out?"

_Robin Leach will get jealous_

"Hell if I know. Maybe they don't know and this is a coincidence. Let's make sure they can't see us – if we can't see them, they can't see us."

_Half a million for the stones_

"HAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE EVEN POORER NOW, KENNY!"

_Taking trips from here to Rome_

"SHUT THE HELL UP, FATASS!"

_So if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home_

"…Resist, Wendy, resist. We can't let them know…"

_G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah_

"Why hello there, ladies."

_G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S_

"GO AWAY, FRENCHIE!"

_We flyin' first class_

"Did that sound like Bebe to you guys?"

_Up in the sky_

"Yeah, it did. Should we go check it out?"

_Poppin' champagne_

"ABORT! ABORT!"

_Livin' the life_

"…They're running."

_In the fast lane_

"Dammit, Frenchie, you scared my girlfriend off."

_And I won't change_

"I truly apologize, I know my appearance is frightful and deplorable."

_By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy_

"Better be sorry. Dammit, she said she was going on a ski trip with her family this week…"

_The glamorous_

-Click, click, click—

"Did you let the Park Hillbillies there know what we were doing this week?"

_The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)_

"No…I told Kenny we were going on a ski trip…."

_By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy_

"Then one of the others must have told, or those idiots must be knacks for coincidence."

_The glamorous_

-Click, click, click –

"Hey, guys, look who was at Circus Circus!"

_The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)_

"Howdy, girls!"

_By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy_

"RED? YOU LET HIM KNOW?"

_I got problems up to here_

"N-No, he saw me and walked over, is something wrong with that?"

_I've got people in my ear_

"Yes, he's male! We weren't letting the boys know, remember? It's a Girls Night Out weekend!"

_Tellin' me these crazy things_

"Oh…cheesecakes…sorry, girls…"

_That I don't wanna know (fuck ya'll)_

"Oh, hamburgers, I messed everything up, didn't I…"

_I've got money in the bank_

"…Did you tell the others?"

_And I'd really like to thank_

"Uh, just…Eric, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde, Craig, and whoever they told…"

_All the fans, I'd like to thank_

"Goddammit, Butters."

_Thank you really though_

"Sorry, Bebe!"

'_Cause I remember yesterday_

"…It's alright…we've just got to stay entirely clear of them now, though…"

_When I dreamt about the days_

"Not likely, there are more of us then there are of you on this trip…"

_When I'd rock on MTV, that'd be really dope_

"….Get out, Butters…."

_Damn, it's been a long road_

"Okay…"

-Click, click, click, click—

_And the industry is cold_

"We've got to do a few more thi—"

_I'm glad my daddy told me so, he let his daughter know._

"Can we join you?"

_I'm glad my daddy told me so, he let his daughter know._

"…You're the boys talking in falsetto and crossdressing, aren't you?"

_I'm glad my daddy told me so,_

"Maybe."

_He let his daughter know._

"Alright, let's go, then….girls."

-Click,click,click,click—


End file.
